A Testimony of Gratitude

Something that most people don’t know about me is that I have been on a mission to handwrite the Bible. This started four years ago, in my sophomore year of high school, when a teacher and mentor allowed the class to handwrite some of the prophets in place of the final exam. When I started this, it was because I didn’t want to take the exam. Come to find out, the final exam would have been much easier but much less fruitful.

Then, in junior year, when I was given the opportunity to handwrite Matthew through Acts, I decided I was going to do it, but with a different mentality. This time, I wanted to grow, whatever that looked like. This changed everything. I grew in ways I couldn’t have imagined. I gained a new appreciation for the Bible and was filled with gratitude for all that had made it possible for it to be in my hands. There were Scribes who devoted the entirety of their lives to writing out the Bible so that there could be another copy, and there were translators that made it possible for me to read the Bible in a language that I understand. I also learned to connect many passages and wrestle with hard questions.

Most importantly, I gained a passion for the Word of God. There were times that when I got home from school or work, I sat at my desk to write and didn’t stop until my alarm went off to wake me up in the morning. There is nothing like the feeling of passionately digging into Scripture and losing track of time. Several times I sat at my desk for so long that when I stood up, I fell on the floor because my legs were so used to sitting. The Bible is a gift. 

As I was writing the story of the Israelites, I was extremely frustrated with them. The Israelites had just been delivered from Egypt by the Lord, and they came to the Red Sea. We all know the story, but have we considered how the Israelites were feeling at the moment? They were being chased by the Egyptians and were trapped. They were most likely saying final goodbyes to their families, thinking that the Egyptians would kill them. But amid their despair, God made a way: he parted the Red Sea, through Moses, and the Israelites crossed on dry ground. The sea closed in on the Egyptians when they made it to the other side. As they stood on dry land, having been delivered from the Egyptians, they rejoiced for what the Lord had done. Things change two chapters later, and I become frustrated with the Israelites. In this chapter, the people complain against God because they want meat to eat. In a short time, God’s chosen people had forgotten what he had done. He had just saved them from being killed by their enemies, and they still complained that God had not done enough for them. When God saved them, they praised him, but only a little while later, they complained that he should be doing more.

I reflected on why I was frustrated with the Israelites, and I concluded that it was because they were not grateful for what God had been doing for them and was doing for them. As I spent more time reflecting, I realized that sometimes I am like the Israelites. And if I am being honest, I’m like the Israelites a lot. I was a very pessimistic person in the past, but I have grown out of that. I have not grown out of pessimism by chance but by faithfully practicing gratitude. 

When I was at my most pessimistic, I had someone challenge me to write down there things I was grateful for each day, and I didn’t do it. I didn’t think this would make a difference at the time. Last year one of my dearest friends gave me something called a Dwell Journal. The objective of a dwell journal is to dwell on the positive things of the day and have gratitude for what God has done in each day. It was challenging when I started doing this, but as I continued to practice gratitude, it became an effortless joy. Instead of struggling to come up with things to write down at the end of the day, I was constantly seeing the good all around me. By practicing gratitude and thanking God for what he has done in my life, I had a change of perspective. 

If you read my last blog post, you know I was struggling with feeling like I belonged and was a part of the community here. Quite honestly, I struggled with pessimism a lot the past several days, and I was missing the small blessings that could have brought me joy all along. One of our alumni leaders leading morning devotions reminded me of practicing gratitude earlier this week. She challenged us to come up with something we are grateful for for each letter of the alphabet. I did this, and my joy increased. It’s easy to get caught in the negatives, but don’t forget to reflect on the Lord’s blessings. After being reminded of this and practicing gratitude, my heart is full of joy, and I have noticed that there have been opportunities for joy in every situation. Choose to focus on the good and thank the Lord for all the small things. 

“He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers to teach to their children, that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children, so that they should set their hope in God and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments” (Psalm 78:5-7, ESV).