Filling my Empty Cup

Guatemala was a country full of joy and life in abundance. Each day, I fell more in love with the country, the people, and living life. While in Guatemala, I was nervous about how the transition to Romania would go. The culture of Romania is as different from the culture of Guatemala as it could be. The change was difficult, but the challenges have been opportunities for growth. 

The greatest challenge I have had to face is feeling drained. I felt overwhelmed by the change in culture, environment, and ministry. At the end of each day, I felt drained and like I had nothing left to give. After the first two weeks here, I knew something had to change. I couldn’t live in Romania for two months and feel how I felt at the end of each day. At the end of the second week, I decided to take two full days of Sabbath rest. I didn’t leave the house for two days, which sounds terrible and boring, but it was what I needed. On the first day, I allowed myself to rest physically and catch up on sleep. On the second day, I pressed into finding rest in the Lord. I spent the day reading my Bible, listening to worship music, and praying. At the end of the weekend, I had so much energy and felt ready for the coming week. 

I started the week with a lot of energy, feeling like I could do anything, but after a few days, I was back to feeling drained. I tried to spend all the time with the Lord that I needed to get me through the week on the weekend, but I found I needed to spend time with Him daily. I learned that spending time with him fills me up, but I need to be filled by him daily, not weekly. When my cup is empty, I can’t love others well. When my cup is empty, I must turn to Him to fill me up. He is the only one who can do it. My ability to love others well comes from being loved by Him. How can I know I am loved by him if I am not spending time with Him? I started to spend every spare minute I had in His word, wake up earlier to start my days with Him, and go to bed later to end my days with Him.  

As I sacrificed more sleep to spend more time with the Father and make Him priority, I learned more about Him as sustainer. While I wasn’t sleeping as much as before, I was full of more energy than when I was sleeping more. He filled my previously empty cup, allowing me to love better and experience greater joy. Joy really does come from Him alone. He created sleep, and we need it, but He also blesses us for spending time with Him. For the past six months, I have been learning a lot about balance and seeing how that applies to every aspect of our lives. Yes, He is sustainer; but we were also created with a need to sleep. The balance I have found here is to spend extra time with him during the week but to allow myself to catch up on sleep on the weekends. The weeks are long, but He is carrying me through. The weekends are sweet, and I have enjoyed pressing into rest and fellowship on our off days. 

I spend a lot of late nights here, but I wouldn’t want it any other way. God is so good and always meets us where we are at. I have learned to be quick to turn to God in the moments I am struggling. He is our great comforter and mighty counselor. He can hold all of our hurt, questions, and wrestling. We aren’t too much for him. He knows every detail about who we are, yet He loves us. He is with you on your best days, and He is with you on your most challenging days. No matter the circumstances, He is with us and still worthy of our praise.